The Insomnia Hits Again….
It’s 2 A.M. now, and I’m still awake, pondering…
I guess my old friend insomnia has visited me again…hmm..since early this week I think…
A lot on my mind…ideas, thought, which I couldn’t put them down…
Like last night…around 12, I laid awake in my bed….just stared at the ceiling…with a rush of thoughts running through my head…which had made me got up from bed, practically running down…and turn on the computer and sent emails…
Usually I get a visit from my old friend whenever I’m stressed out, have a lot to think of…but am I right now??
Maybe, with all the things that have been going on…I’m wondering maybe there are things that I could do to make all go smoothly…
Now, I just want to write things…meaningful perhaps…nonsense maybe…at least I want to clear my chest for a while…
Ayah has been back for 2 weeks now…he seems happy with the familiar surrounding…no more fever, controllable blood pressure, and it seems he also made a lot progress with the physiotherapy that he’s been having….I am happy…hopefully things will go better after this…
Considering that, I am thinking about my personal state of well-being…for not being employed and doing almost nothing. I’ve tried to make myself busy with non-important things…but still I feel some things are missing in my life…it’s like working is the essence of my existence…crazy I know…
Fortunately, my former employer still wants me back…they are even willing to wait for me to make my decision…
but still, I have doubts…don’t know why…and also due to the un-reliable-human-being who hasn’t gave any date upon taking up the responsibilities….crap!!!!
But looking at Ayah’s condition, I am certainly going back to work…for the sake of my well-being…just don’t know when…
It’s almost 2.30 A.M now…with no TV in my room (temporarily ofcourse)…and it leaves only me and my laptop (Agoes’ to be exact)…I hate internet connection in Indonesia…it’s soooooo lameeeee….I couldn’t download almost anything crappy from the internet…I miss The Netherlands…hicks…hicks…
Talking about The Netherlands…My life in Enschede was perhaps the closest thing for being normal…I had a house which I could roam around…lived peacefully in a 3-rooms-apartment, owning my own space…what a wonderful life….now???? Well, I’m back at my parents, with a crappy internet connection, jobless, and trying so hard to find private moments….[sigh...]
Enough said…hopefully tomorrow will be a better day…and I’ll have all the chances in the world to make my life worth while………
July 20th, 2006 at 5:18 am
kok gak nyari kerja di bandung aja yan? gw denger SBM ITB lagi butuh banyak staff tuh.. cobain aja.. kata bini gw lagi butuh lecturer buat enterpreneurship buat s2 kalo gak salah.. dan banyak butuh tutor2 buat anak2 s1..